As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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