He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
