then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
