Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Drake has all the answers
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
