so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
