Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
