someone threw a dead crab at me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
