She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
