Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you had me at cake vodka
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Congratulations! We have a period
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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