I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Come share oat with me in your robe
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
