arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
