Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
