True but thats because hes a fetus.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
