im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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