What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
