It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
