I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
