8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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