R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
