We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
