just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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