How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I will be naked everywhere
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
