where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It's just like the Real World with babies
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
