thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
