Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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