He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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