I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
