He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize