fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
thus making me awesome and them whores
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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