Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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