is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
