And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
