I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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