I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
