Are we in a gay sports bar?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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