News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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