Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
