I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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