So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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