Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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