he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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