I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
