idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She's the barista slut.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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