Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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