The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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