I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
