I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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