They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
