omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
