yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
