I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
