I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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