I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
