She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
