So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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