I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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