I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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