the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
