oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
