i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
