i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
