Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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