another moral hangover. fuck.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
